Thursday, March 25, 2010

Rahul Chaman sues Akshay Chamar!

Rahul Chaman is again in the news, this time not for his swayamwar stint but because of his laughter. As Fekuchand Reporter reports, the swayamwar boy (sorry, 'man' we should say) has reportedly sued the bollywood superstar Akshay Chamar for imitating his giggle.

Outside a local court in Mumbai still beaming in his swayamwar attire, Chaman said, "Akshay Chamar has allegedly copied my giggle in the Micromax ads which is a direct insult to my talent. That laugh is my trademark style. Moreover, I really don't understand the need to have that monotonous irritating laughter while playing games flying everywhere like a monkey. For the matter of fact is that an ad of GAMOLUTION or MONKEYLUTION? huh huh huh huh huh huh huh...". Our camerman is said to have shoved his camera inside Chaman's mouth while he was laughing.

Ghanshyamdas Pareshanlal, an IPL enthusiast said, "I just switch off my tv as soon as the Micromax ad starts. It helps me with 2 things. One, naturally I give Chamar's laugh a skip. And secondly, it helps me save electricity. Man, I really feel that Micromax could have saved a lot had they signed Chaman instead of Chamar. The end effect would have been the same you see."

On contacting, Micromax spokesman commented, "We have been facing a lot of criticisms off lately. Also we felt that we could have got the same job done in 1 lakh instead of a crore. We are considering Rahul Chaman as our brand ambassador as he has got a more natural laughter. We hope our consumers would definitely give this a thumbs up. Our consumers can sms us on 54321 to give their views. Type 'huh' for Chamar and 'huh huh' for Chaman." As per our findings, so far only 2 people have voted - one for Chamar and the other for Chaman. No awards for guessing who actually voted.

Akshay Chamar as usual was unavailable for comments.

huh huh huh huh huh huh huh....Crap!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

MBA, BOLT and MARKETS!


All my MBA entrances got over by 21st of Feb. Except CET all the results had been declared. No need to mention how I fared! Luckily I got a call from GIM (Goa Institute of Management) for GD/PI through XAT. My friends were more thrilled than I was (Goan effect you see); they would have not been so enthusiastic had I got a call from IIMA. Budget 2010 was a hot topic for the Group Discussion. But I was ignorant. I just prayed that it should not be my GD topic. But nothing seemed to go my way. GD Topic – Effect of Budget 2010 on Inflation. Mirch masala daal ke diya saalon ne! I felt like banging the faculty’s head right there. Screwed up big time in GD! Sorry folks! CET results to be declared on 5th April. All of my friends are busy in something they dislike from the bottom of their hearts - WORK. One was chilling out; but now he has got a call too. So now what?

Dad and brother advised me to start learning something about the Indian economy & finance. After all, MBA is what I want to do. So they asked (felt more like ‘commanded’) me to start my economic voyage by following the stock markets and reading The Economic Times (ET). ‘What!’, was my instant reaction. For a few minutes I was dumbfounded. I scratched my head & neck, rubbed my eyes, raised my eyebrows, looked here & there, trying to avoid eye contact with them but whenever looked at them from the corner of the eye, they seemed to be constantly staring at me asking for a nod. They even reminded me of the GIM GD. How embarrassing! Man, I have always abhorred the stock markets and have never understood those perplexing financial terms. ‘That is the very reason why we are asking you to read ET and follow the markets’ they explained. “Fair enough!”, I thought.

So finally I started my day at the BOLT from March 8, 2010 and simultaneously skimming through the ET.
(BOLT: Bombay Online Trading System – the trading system currently in use at the BSE: Bombay Stock Exchange. Stock Brokers and the sub-brokers are said to sit at the BOLT.)

(Hell! Used ‘Bombay’ 2 times…Shiv Sena & MNS reading?)

Following are my expert observations :-P

1.Long term investments are a safe bet. (com’on everybody knows that)

2.Intraday trading is highly risky if you are not a keen observer of the movements of the market.(that is not something new)

3.Invest in companies listed in grade A and those which are fundamentally strong because they are bound to have a substantial growth. (Fundamentally Strong – High cash flow, constant growth rate, high earnings, low debt)

4.Watch out for companies going 'Green'. They are bound to reap benefits in the long term because going 'Green' may help them cut their operational costs by as high as 40%.
For instance, because of the tariff wars and low profitability telecom companies like Ericsson, Bharti Infratel and Idea are investing heavily to go green to bring down their operational costs. They are doing so by using solar photovoltaic systems, biofuels in their base stations, micro wind turbines, free cooling methods, etc.
(Aha! Now that seems to be a new mantra)

5.Watch out for Logistics and IT Companies and also for companies who are looking out for technology upgradation.

6.Also watch out for companies going on cloud as ‘Cloud Computing’ would help them reduce costs significantly.
(Cloud Computing – In simple terms, companies transfer their servers and hence all data on the Internet or the ‘Cloud’. So the companies just need to pay for the services they use and just need a browser to access their data from anywhere & at anytime.)
(hmmm...cool!)

7.Currently, IPOs are performing really well. Investing in IPOs may be risky for long term but if done smartly, one can reap short term benefits.

8.One word of advice: Play Safe! Play Smart!

(Enough man! It has just been 5 days...kuch jyada nahi ho gaya?)
(But hey, am I beginning to enjoy it?...may be yes...)